Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
PG-13, 124 minutes
Critics: B
Miles: C
I promised a review and I think there has been enough time since my viewing for any immediate reactions to wear off. So to sum it up, I would say that this movie, like the Starwars prequels, is a fine 2 hours of entertainment on par with other formulaic summer action movies (for example, see Men in Black, Rush Hour). However, I must agree with almost everyone that the movie was certainly the worst of the four Jones movies, mostly due to poor writing. While I won't go as far as saying it is a waste of time to see, I could have easily waited for it to come out on video, and I would never go out and buy this movie for my home collection.
So now that you have my review in a nutshell, you can click "continue reading" to see why I feel this way, but be warned--there are spoilers ahead.
I think the best way to do this is to compare the good conventions/features of the Jones films with the bad conventions/features. To be fair, I will include the good aspects of the Crystal Skull and the bad parts of the first three films as well.
Good: Unrealistic, yet almost plausible action
Examples: being drug behind a truck by a whip (Raiders-R), downing enemy planes with a flock of birds (Last Crusade-LC), cutting a rope bridge while standing on it (Temple of Doom-TOD), escaping an atomic blast inside a lead-lined refridgerator (Crystal Skull-CS).
Bad: Unrealistic, totally rediculous and dumb action for a cheap comedic effect.
Examples: lead-lined refridgerator thrown thousands of yards through the air with Jones inside (CS).
Good: villans that are somewhat developed and complex
Examples: Belloch (R), Dr. Schneider (LC)
Bad: shallow, cartoon-like villans
Examples: thuggee preist (TOD), Russian Lady (CS)
Good: side characters that move the film forward by contributing to the plot.
Examples: German guy with burned hand (R), Sala (R), Marcus (LC)
Bad: side characters that are a gimmick to move the film forward by foregoing plot.
Examples: fat greedy guy (CS), pocessed idiot professor friend (CS)
Good: attractive, empowered female who complicates the hero's choice of actions.
Example: Marion (R), Dr. Schneider (LC)
Bad: annoying stereotypical female who does little to challenge the hero's decisions.
Example: Lounge Singer (TOD), Russian Lady (CS)
Good: compulsory giant cliff used to kill off enemies.
Examples: on the road to Cairo (R), the canyon of the cresent moon (LC)
Bad: compulsory giant cliff used to show that forces of gravity can have no ill effect on god-like protagonists.
Example: mountains of northeast India (TOD), Amazon river valley x3 (CS)
Good: film opens in medias res with an independent adventure that gets the viewer warmed up for more and introduces/develops key characters.
Example: golden idol in Nicaragua (R), ashes of Chinese emporer (TOD), cross of Coronado (LC)
Bad: no independent opening adventure and no subtle preliminary character development.
Example: area 54 (CS)
Good: main character is a rough and tumble adventurer driven by intellectual curiosity and the desire for fame and fortune, which is complicated by personal connections and a reluctant devotion to basic morals and values.
Example: Inidana Jones (R), Inidana Jones (TOD), Inidana Jones (LC)
Bad: main character is a patriotic, x-spy threatened by red-bating, who is driven by the need to be the savior of his friends who have been thrust onto the front lines of the cold war.
Example: Indiana Jones (CS)
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Great review!