The House with the Red Door
Note: I am not in any way condoning divorce in this post. I believe that it is sinnful and life altering in a negative way for all parties involved, especially the children. Having said that I do believe that good things can come from bad situations, as in my life. I am so thankful that God has given me two families that love me, who are healthy and happy emotionally, physically and spiritually. I have three awesome sisters, and one fabulous brother that I would never have had if my parents had stayed married. I have a relationship with my brother (who we share the same mom and dad) that very few peole have, and I firmly believe that we have such a strong relationship because of my parents' divorce. I appreciate that I always felt loved and I am very thankful to both my mom and my dad for understanding the impportance of fostering strong relationships with both of them. Now on to the post...
For a long time Miles and I have been kicking around the idea that I should write children's books. Now that I am at home with Halleigh, reading childrens books all the time, I have rekindled the idea. From a couple of posts ago, you know that I have had the inspiration of the title and first page... I was driving down Club Blvd. in Durham, and there is a house on the north side of the street that has the most striking red door, and I thought there is a house with a RED RED door. And letting my mind wander, I thought that "The House with the Red Door" would be an interesting title to a children's book. The book would go on to talk about what happens to a child and their family inside that house with a red door.
Then my blog friend (I have never met her in person) and Miles' real friend (he went to college with her) Beth Ann gave me the great idea of having red throughout the entire story. (see post entitled "In case you were wondering...")
So, taking the risk that someone reading this might steal my idea and make it their own and make a billion dollars... I want to share and start to flush out my ideas and vision in writing children's books. Here it goes.
Since the book is going to be entitled "The House with the Red Door," color could play a mojor roll. It could be a whole book about the color red. Or maybe just as a major theme in the book. It would be neat to have a whole series of books that all had one color as a major theme to go along with the story that is being told.
I have thought for a long time that I could write really good childrens books that wrestle with tough issues...mainly divorce. (My parents divorced when I was 6) And do it in an "uplifting" way, so that parents would actually buy it for their children. Either as a way for the children to have something to relate to and/or as some what of a coping mechanism and teach them a healthy way to grieve. Maybe explaining to them in yet another way that just because it didn't work out with the parents, doesn't mean that it's their fault, they are not loved, they are being abandoned by one of their parents... and so on. It is becoming more and more common for people to divorce, but when my parents divorced, I was the ONLY one of my friends that had a step-dad instead of a "real" dad, or had to explain that I had to leave in the middle of the summer to go see my real dad, that my baby sister was my half-sister because we only shared the same mom, or having to explain why my mom had a different last name that I did. That of course changed as we got older, but I think that it would be great, especially now that it is more prevelant, that kids know (from a source other than the parents who are doing the divorcing, and who often times loose the confidence of their children a little because of the divorce) that they are special, loved, sucessful, beautiful, etc.
Elizabeth e-mailed Miles and I part of an e-mail that Marshall Benbow (another one of Miles' friends from college) sent out about a sermon series that his church was in the middle of that I have been thinking a lot about lately, as I begin to parent and also as I think about how to help kids realize that even in the face of their family falling apart and changing, they are loved, special, beautiful, sucessful, etc.
Here it is:
What questions does my child need to be answered about herself(himself)? How
can I answer those questions with love, truth and integrity in ways that will be beneficial to my child?
My pastor (Marshall's pastor) has been preaching about the role of parents in the life of a
child, and talking about questions that little boys and little girls need answered. For boys it is, "Do I have what it takes?" and "Do you delight in me?" For girls it is, "Do you hear me and see me?" and "Am I beautiful?"
For many of our (Marshall's) tutoring kids, these questions are going unanswered at home, and I want us to prayerfully consider how we/you might be used by God to help answer it. "Yes, young man, you have what it takes to succeed, and I enjoy having you around." "Yes, young woman, you are beautiful, and I hear your heart."
I think that often times children get pushed to the side until the dust settles in a dovorce and their feelings and needs are not being met. Now I am definetley not saying that I can write a book that meets those needs that a child has, but maybe I can give them a character that they can mimic or at least get ideas from on how to express themselves and how to show their parents that they, in fact, have needs and especially a need to grieve the loss of the family they were accustomed to. I don't know of any divorcing person that doesn't need to grieve, it's healthy and I think that more stock should be put in the children's need to grieve as well, because even more than the parents, the children will deal with the divorce for the rest of their lives. It will effect how they view and value themselves and others. It will effect the way that they go about entering and exiting other relationships, especially their relationship with their future spouce.
And hopefully, it will be the parents who will be reading to their children, so they will get the message themselves. Thus, able to teach and express to their children their children's value. Which, might I add, I am rapidly learning is infinite!
Anyway... this is why I want to write it, but I am still obviously having trouble with actually writing it. I'll keep you posted.
Hey Brooke, I think that is an awesome idea. My parents are divorced too (since I was 3). When I was little I didn't know any different except that everybody else had a mom & dad that lived together and I didn't. Most of my issues & grieving came as an adult. I think your book idea is really great. You go girl!!
I was thinking, maybe each parent in your book could give the child (who is telling the story, I'm guessing??) something red to remind them that they are loved. If you can use it, great, if not, hopefully it will spark something that you can. :) Thanks!
Brooke, Sounds like a great idea. Having a thread of red running throughout the book reminds me of "The B Book". Big, Big Brown, Big Brown Bear, Big Brown Bear Bouncing... Do you remember that book? Anyways, you should contact Joanna Reule, Dave Reule's wife (Miles should know Dave). She's dedicated herself to being a writer as well. Might be fun to swap some ideas, techniques and frustrations.