As I mentioned earlier, since learning that the bun in the oven is actually a little girl, I have been reading The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of our Daughters, by Michael Gurian. Gurian's main point is that there is a unique femininity that is biologically determined; nature over nurture. He argues that this femininity ultimately boils down to an "intamacy imperative" that is a biological reality. Whether girls choose to accept or reject this reality, they always behave in some relation to this nature within themselves. Thus, Gurian argues that parents must acknowledge and address this feminine nature in their daughters. Here's a passage....

"To say that femininity is somehow 'hard-wired,' then to see the intimacy imperative inherent in the hard-wiring becomes a great challenge. The early feminists, without using brain research, saw it. Carol Gilligan saw it. She saw that intimacy was a lion's share of the feminine imperative. But she, like her feminist colleagues over the next few decades, turned away from it, and occupied themselves with empowering women and girls toward greater male-held social status.

"Had Gilligan and others, thirty years ago, stuck to their early findings about the inherent qualities of femininity, it would not seem so alien to say that the future of femininity, no matter our age or era, has always lain in a culture's commitment to providing girls and women with secure webs of interrelationship, bonding, and attachment. Providing girls with the ability to compete with men, while very useful, may not lie at the heart of how a society must nurture its girls."

I think I want us to be the type of parents that value the feminine nature of our daughter, and teach her to have the wisdom, confidence, and ability to compete/cooperate with men without denying this part of God's design for her.

More thoughts from the book later. Meanwhile, what are your thoughts on this balance? Comments Please!