For some SUPER CUTE pictures of Halleigh in her costume, click here.  She is a cowgirl, in honor of my western roots. Miles calls her Calamity Jane, although she has a sheriff's star, so those two don't really fit together.  Although is our little calamity on feet and her middle name is Jane, so it works.

Oh yeah, by the way, the little pink fuzzy bear is Halleigh's cousin, Anna Efird. (Elizabeth's daughter)

I have been feeling extremely tired lately. In part I am sure that is has to do with the fact that Miles and I have been staying up WAY too late, but there has been another component that I haven't been able to put my finger on. I just have been in a funk for the last couple of weeks. Yes, stress over the usual, money, time, cars etc. but it seems more than that. 

I used to work out regularly, having Miles mom and grandmother watch Halleigh while I worked out served two purposes, #1 gave them scheduled time every week when they got to see her and #2 a shove in the right direction to get me to the gym. I stopped having them watch Halleigh, because we started swimming lessons and she had to join the Y in order to participate. So I decided to just take her with me instead and that way it was using my time more effectively. But the result mostly was that I stopped working out. UGH! I hate how predictable I am!

But I have renewed my effort to force myself to the gym under the mental auspices of taking Halleigh swimming for practice... So I take her, work out and then pick her up and we go and swim for a little while. It was fun and I have felt so much better because of it. Where I was tired and draggy all day, I am already starting to feel more energy and just feeling more positive all the way around. Hopefully this will be GOOD BYE funk.

In an update, since our first swimming lesson, Halleigh has become much happier in the water. Today she almost blew bubbles. It was an amazing leap for her. She splashed and floated happily... maybe she is my child after all. ha ha ha Hopefully she will wow everyone at this week's lesson by how comfortable she is in the water now.

Today Halleigh and I had the first session of, mommy and me, swimming lessons. Driving home I got to thinking about how learning to swim is a metaphor for parenting… bittersweet.  Lovingly teaching, supporting, pushing, catching, and guiding them to be comfortable swimming/living on their own.  As I sit here typing this, tears streaming down my face, I realize that I am tired and overly emotional about stupid swimming lessons, and that I have barely begun the parenting journey.  Nonetheless, I am already starting to feel Halleigh becoming independent of me, which IS what I want, but it IS very hard! First weaning, then walking, now swimming… See… it’s bittersweet!

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a poet. I was an English major/ teacher because I love literature, not because I am able to write poetry.

Swimming Lessons

Little fishy you seem to be

Born for the water, asleep in a float toy.

Loving the shower; Loving the bath,

Droplets of water cling to your lashes.

Streams of clear water never a bother.

Little fishy you seem to be

So full of life, zest some may call it.

But not on the first day of lil’fishy class;

You cling to the side unwilling to jump,

The strange environment exposing your need.

Little fishy you seem to be

Not having fun, just sucking your thumb.

Why was the pool your nemesis today?

Normally you smile and play, splashing and kicking.

But not on this morning; you smiles are gone.

Little fishy you seemed to be

A Clam, you’d best be described as

Clingy and scared, all uncharacteristic,

Begrudging the fact that this is not over;

Five weeks of learning, Five weeks foretell.

Little fishy you seem to be

Dreading the next week when we have part two.

Maybe with some practice you will warm up

To the idea of swimming and learning to jump.

You can learn how to swim without losing your need

Little fishy you seem to be

Needing your mother, but afraid of a loss.

Ready to grow in so many ways, I know that

Swimming will bring you much joy in your life.

But I’ll cherish your need holding it close to my heart,

It will be gone all too soon and we’ll swim apart.

We went camping this weekend and it was fun. I don't know what else to say about it... I am feeling uninspired. I am worried that now that I have a blog, my creative muse has left. I would often think of fun things to write about, but now all I can think to say is that camping was fun?!? UGH!

Halleigh is sick and teething at the same time, it has been traumatically frustrating dealing with a cranky baby. She has a runny, gross, gunked up nose, cough, and she is drooling like a sapping tree. Pretty much we are elbow deep in Halleigh's various bodily fluids. 

Our camera is broken and that has me in a funk also. We pulled out the film camera as a substitute for a couple weeks until we can buy a new camera, but it just isn't the same. I am used to the instant gratification that digital provides you. The ability to see, delete, see, save, upload, send, and enjoy in a matter of seconds is something that I have grown very accustomed to. 

We took some pictures (not nearly as many as we would have if we had had the digital camera) while camping, but since we have to get them developed and then put on a CD, it will be a while before I can put them up. 

"The man" is holding me down; developing film seems like such a racket in the post-digital world.

When we get the pictures ready to go, I'll write more about camping... besides what is a blog without pictures? 

Miles, Halleigh and I went to the North Carolina State Fair on Monday.  We took Halleigh last year, and so we thought that we would make it a tradition by taking her again this year. I must say, she had WAY more fun this year than last.

The highlight for Halleigh was the carosel ride.  While we were waiting for the ride to start Halleigh was sitting on her horse, flapping her arms and "dancing" to the music that was playing.  But as soon as the horse and ride started to move, she held on to the pole with a death grip... literally she had white knuckles. She was smiling and looking around, making noise the whole ride, but never did she let up on the grip that she had on the horse until the ride came to a full and complete stop. Even then I had to pry her fingers off so that we could leave. I think my girl is going to be a thrill seeker... what am I saying... she already is!

The highlight for me was the cake exhibition. There were some of the most beautiful cake decorating that I have ever seen. Some of the cakes were simply amazing! Continue reading for pictures of some of my favorite cakes exhibited!  I liked the exhibit so much that I think that I am going to enter next year.

I think that the highlight for Miles was the goat showing that we watched for a little while. They were some really cute goats... if goats can be cute.  If you are around and you have a spare afternoon, go and help the fair break the 1,000,000 visitor mark. Tickets are $7.00 and well worth it... where else can you get a fried PB&J sandwich?

Autumn is an amazing time of year. It has a negative connotation in most circles, and I think that it is unfair. Look at movies... The Village, One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, and Garden State are all great examples of strong autumnal usage.  They all are stories that take place almost exclusively in autumn; it solidifies the dramatically sinister and depressing moods that directors want audiences to feel.  Literature too, even more famously uses autumn as a time of death, the end, stripping down, breaking down, depression, and melancholy. Jane Austen used seasons masterfully in her writing, and autumn typically came at the most sad, desolate time in the characters journey through life, love, and/ or adventure.  It works as a literary device, seething ominous, threatening, and disturbing vibes, but isn't autumn also about finding warmth, preparing for the winter by gathering those you love near and sharing in the harvest?

I love autumn, I think of it as a time of preparation, a time to hunker down and get ready for winter.  It's a time of hot apple cider and pumpkin pie. Autumn is a time to pull out the cotton flannel sheets and down comforters; pick and carve pumpkins, wear sweaters and wooly socks; go Christmas shopping and make a Turkey; cook, bake, celebrate and enjoy the harvest with loved ones. No, autumn is not a sad or desolate time in my journey, it is a time of year charged with the energy of gathering, of change, and a time of (searching for) warmth.

Welcome to my blog... I have wanted a blog of my own for a long time, and finally here it is.

In medias res is a latin term that means into the midst of something, event, or sequence. It also is a literary technique where the narrative starts in the middle of the story instead of from its beginning.  Since there is nothing in my life that is starting at this moment, I thought this phrase for a title appropriate.